I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think I sprained my soul last night
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i think my cat just said my name.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
