One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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