i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
