yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
