I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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