I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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