i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
