would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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