That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
