NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
