Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
