I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
