drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
