Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Welp...herpes.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
