people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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