Don't EVER smell your tampon
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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