And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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