hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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