people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
