Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
