I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
