Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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