sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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