He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
