I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Barsexuality is the new black.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
