What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Still dying that you shit outside
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
