their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
