remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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