Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
