plz talk dirty to me
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
