Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
