The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
