I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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