i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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