She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
