Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
