i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
