Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
high people should be assigned attendants
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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