At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
