I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
