how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
