we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
