oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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