My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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