I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
