I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
