you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
