That's intense
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
