If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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