if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
