just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
