the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
