I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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