did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
