I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
BRING THE BAGELS
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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